Relationships Are Messy



Relationships are a lot of work, messy and complicated. Sometimes it’s easier to retreat and withdraw than to show up. Let’s be honest, it takes courage, grace and a lot of humility to show up some days. 

We don’t get to pick which parts of ourself to pack and bring along. We bring the whole set of luggage. Packed with enough stuff to weigh down a plane. Our best behavior and our worst. All of the things that have happened over the course of our life and our interpretation of them. Our love and generosity and our selfishness.  

What makes relationships especially difficult is that we bring along the unmet expectations we have of ourselves. They can be a mirror that reveals what you wish were different about you. The kind in the dressing room with the really bright lights and all. 

***And that’s where the really hard work begins.*** 

In the willingness to examine yourself before casting blame. It’s easier to tell someone what they should have done in a situation than to own what I should have done.  

Relationships are worth the work. People are worth fighting for. I can choose to retreat and live on my own island or I can show up, admit my shortcomings and commit to doing the hard work it takes.

“Without love it doesn’t matter what you’re fighting for.” -P.D.  

Photo credit: Andrey Pavlov

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