You legit broke my heart and I am still on the long road of mending. My 10,000 pictures hold the proof, of hard seasons of transition and uprooting, of sitting in laundromats when it felt like the whole world should stop but it keeps right on. Of the days that followed each loss, when smiles reach your face but don’t quite reach your heart.
The pictures are also proof of the good. So. Much. Good. It just takes the heart a while to catch up to that truth and that’s okay. Sometimes the heart needs a reminder.
A dear friend gifted me with this hourglass for my birthday in September, which was 13 days after one of those losses and one of the saddest days of my life. She had no idea why she chose it and only followed the prompting of her heart, that still small voice that said, “That’s it. That’s the one.”
But I knew why. I knew because I had listened to someone talking just weeks before about how God stands outside of time. He knows all realities. All possibilities. All outcomes. All the answers to our what if’s and would’ve, could’ve, should’ve in a situation. All of which are met with the promise of sovereignty and redemption and the reminder that He is the essence of love. He is not just loving. He IS love.
It’s my most treasured gift this year.
Yes, 2021 was harder than I ever could have imagined. And I am under no illusion that 2022 will be all rainbows and sunshine.
But the reminder that God stands outside of this earthly sense of time that I am so caught up in comforts me immensely and gives my heart permission to hope again. And again. And again.