We all know that holidays are not a welcomed and celebratory time for everyone and for many different reasons.
I hear people speak with dreadful anticipation of family gatherings and let's be honest, we are not the Cleavers. Most of us are more like the Griswold's on National Lampoons. A little quirky and a lot of dysfunction.
So the question is, how do we deal with tough relational dynamics and not dread the season?
We live in an "unfollow" generation. Social media makes it easy to unfollow or unfriend that person whose posting or behavior we feel annoyed by with one click.
We don't even have to respond to texts anymore. We now have a "like" option for texting (been guilty myself...but seriously?)
Sometimes unfollow, and unfriend IS the healthy option for toxic relationships. It's for sure the easier option to not have to see something someone is posting that gets your emotions in a jumble. Sometimes healthy distance from toxic people (even family) is the healthy thing. It's for sure the easier option to avoid people and circumstances that feel difficult and more than we can handle.
But just because something is easier doesn't always mean it's what is best.
Maybe the tougher, more mature option is to ask ourselves the nitty, gritty why question. To check the gauge on our own heart.
Why does what they are posting get to me the way it does?
Why does that person in my family irritate me that way?
Why give someone that much power over my life?
Truth is, anything you are not mastering is master over you.
Maybe we aren't meant just to avoid the tough people in our lives. Maybe...just maybe, there is something internal that needs to be examined on our end.
Ouch. I don't like it either.
As Bob Goff says, "Love difficult people. You are one of them." Thanks, Bob. So true.